Your Opinion Is Not My Reality ~ Steve Maraboli ~
© Kelly Jeanne 2022
I deplore hearing people at birthday parties of those who are up there in years saying something like, “Is today your birthdayyyy? How wonderful! Are you planning on eating a lot of ice cream and cake todayyyy? Good for youuuuu! You have a lovely birthday todayyyyy, okayyyy?
Over the years it has become so triggering for me that I literally have a hard time hearing what these people are saying. To me it sound like one long, high pitched, screeching sound; like someone’s nails across a chalk board. I can’t discern one word from the next.
If someone’s voice is naturally high pitched, it still bothers me, and it’s still hard to discern one word from another, but not as much. Only because I know they’re being sincere and not condescending. On the other had, if someone is deliberately being condescending, I I would much rather jump out a window than listen to that screeching in my ears.
There are those who are talked to in that manner, but don’t complain. For the most part, when this happens, it simply means they have the grace to handle it. It’s great to have the grace to put up with such communication, but that doesn’t make it any less hurtful, disrespectful and undignified. This also makes it difficult for those of us who do complain. I, personally, have been told all my life, “Well, no one else has complained.” Therefore, I treated as someone who is just being overly sensitive and in need of thicker skin. Ultimately, nothing is done. Nothing changes.
Another way to look at it is this. The recipient may not say anything because they’re simply tired of it all and don’t have the energy to deal with the ignorance of others. So, in lieu of blowing a gasket and risking a heart attack, they keep quiet. I don’t blame them. When I look on the faces of those who are talked to in such a manner, the look on their faces is one of resignation and my heart goes out to them. I also notice that as the ‘well wisher’ walks away, the eyes of the recipient follow them with a look that says, “If you only knew.”
As tired as I am with this ignorance from others, I’m not that old and I will say something about it every time. I hope I never have the grace to put up with and allow such disrespect from others. I’m not afraid to speak my mind. If it makes you uncomfortable, good! It’s supposed to.
Ask yourself, would you like to be talked to in such a manner? If you are honest, you would say no. So, if you don’t find this an attractive way of communicating then give others the same respect. Payback will come when you get older and find others younger than yourself, talking like that to you.
People who talk in absolutes or use extreme statements that sound quite implausible, and are continually making these statements with all sincerity, chances are very great that they are not saying these things for dramatic effect, or having a pity party, or wanting attention. It’s a sign that these words are coming from severe trauma and every word is true.
~ The End ~