Shattering the many myths
Ever since I was an adolescent, I’ve been in the business of raising people’s consciousness. It wasn’t easy. After all, who’s going to listen to a small child? Especially one who’s always been treated as lesser than everyone else and told all her life that she’s stupid and will never amount to anything?
That never stopped me because it was – and still is – a large part of who I am. To have been raised by parents (I prefer ‘egg donor’ and ‘sperm donor’) and siblings who had morals and ethics of….. Well, they didn’t have much of a sense of right and wrong, integrity, or any of the things that are supposed to set us apart from animals. I always say that if I were raised by wolves, I would have had more of an advantage in life.
Throughout my life, I’ve continued to teach people. At the tender age of 64 people are starting to listen to me. How great is that? I’m in the process of writing my memoir. It very well may be a 3 book series. The first book will be my actual memoir. The second will be how certain factions of society have treated me throughout my life, making my day to day existence extremely difficult. My third book will be the many lessons I have learned and would like to impart to others.
It’s become quite apparent to me that most people enjoy living in their little privileged and entitled bubbles. That, in itself, is not really an issue, because none of us can control our race we were born into, or the gender we were born into, or how much money, i.e., influence our family has – or lack thereof.
The problem comes when people choose to remain ignorant, like a horse with blinders on. When they don’t want to step out of their warm, comfortable bubbles to see that there are other realities in life; other life experiences. The sad thing is, too many people have not had good experiences in life. Not everyone is born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
To not recognize us means to overlook, shun, marginalize, trivialize, isolate, disenfranchise and alienate a large and ever increasing segment of society. Did I get enough synonyms in there to drill the point home?
How we are seen affects the way we are treated, thus preventing us from living full and happy lives. Through telling my story, I will show how this happened to me time and time again, which really upended my life so many times and causing such chaos and nearly unbearable turmoil that I had attempted suicide – a second time! No one believes me when I tell them how old I was when I first attempted it.
I’m hoping you’ll be moved enough to ‘like’, ‘follow’, and ‘share’ this page with others. Please feel free to comment and share your experiences with me and/or ask me any questions that you have. Depending on your questions, I may even answer them in a post rather than answering them in the comments below. While doing this I will make sure the ones posing the questions remain anonymous.
Thank you for taking the time to read as well as ‘like’, ‘follow’, and ‘share’ the posts on this page. Happy learning, everyone!
~ I AM ME ~ MULTI-FACETED LIKE A DIAMOND ~ 
Your life reality from years-gone-by is heart wrenching to me. I have known of children in recent years, through their Mom’s and Grandmom’s, who are afflicted with Asperger’s. These children have been encouraged, and given the grace to be who they are with love, not condemnation. They have been properly educated, and now thrive as young adults, within the community. They know how to appropriately respond to jerks who mock or disparage them because they are “different”.
May I offer you encouragement to keep sharing your truths so others will be enlightened.
As you rise from the ashbin you were assigned to so early in life – like a Phoenix – I hope you will be fully and gloriously aware of your personal inner beauty and transformation. I pray for blessings from God, who knows how to give good gifts to His children, on your life, Kelly Jeanne. Keep doing the good work, for God’s glory and praise. He made you, perfect.
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You’re the sweetest, my friend. Thank you! You certainly do encourage me. It does my heart good to know that these young ones were not treated any differently, and in fact, were encouraged to flourish and become useful members of society.
I don’t view Asperger’s as an affliction, but a blessing. There are so many incredible characteristics that come with it. In my memoir I talk about why it’s not a disorder and will share many writings from my memoir that prove it.
Thank you for taking a gander and following me 💜
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Happy to share the autism spectrum with you, Kelly..
I like to refer to myself as an autist, vs. artist. ❤
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That’s wonderful! How long have you known? I didn’t find out myself until 3 years ago when I was 61. It was a mind blowing experience. I was so happy because it answered so many questions I’ve had my whole life.
That ‘autist’ made me laugh! Very funny!
That reminds me of a critique room I was in last week. One of the members in the room is deaf. It was her turn to do a reading of what she had written. We normally screen share what we read, because it makes it easier to give feedback.
While she was reading she used a word that sounded very similar to autism. My thoughts did an about face. I was stumped. I didn’t think she was on the spectrum.
When she finished reading her story I asked her if she could spell the word that she used in her reading. She spelled out ‘audism’. It’s a word used in the deaf community that refers to people who like to stereotype those who can’t hear.
We both had a good laugh at the similarity between ‘autism’ and ‘audism’!
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Learned about 6 years ago.. big relief, like you said.. explained so much.
We’re all a buncha bozos, aren’t we.. artists, audists, autists, and aspergers.. not disabled, just differently abled.
From the fabulous Land of Misfit Toys.
Merry Christmas, Kelly. 🙂
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Merry Christmas to you!
I’d like to ask you something. Many people on the spectrum get on my case when I say that I don’t believe it’s a disability. I’m beginning to believe they don’t like this because, if it’s not considered a disability, it’ll prevent many from filing for Disability. What’s your take on that?
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I don’t pretend to know what others are thinking.
I actually prefer to live my life not being defined by my pluses or minuses.. and I don’t readily mention them.
That said, I leave folks to live their lives, hold their opinions, and to get on anyone’s case they want. 🙂
These questions make me uncomfortable, quite frankly. Live and let be.
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What I was getting at in my comment was this:
In many of the groups I belong to for those of us on the spectrum, I’ve gotten a lot of flack from many who tell me that I’m an ablest because I mention that Asperger’s is not a disability or a disorder.
The impression I’m getting is that there are those in the community who want to hang onto the disabled label, so they can use their status on the spectrum as a crutch for any future state or federal aid they might handily apply for.
To lose that disabled status would mean losing the chance of getting aid. To me, that sounds like Disability fraud. If they can falsely hang onto that label, the better for them, whether they are disabled or not. To me, that’s just plain wrong.
I’m not talking about my personal feelings regarding how people label me or others on the spectrum. I’m talking more about what is socially, morally, and ethically correct.
Any problems I’ve ever encountered have not been because I’m on the spectrum but as a direct result of not being accepted in society. That alone has caused many barriers for me. If people would just leave us alone and let us live our lives, life would be so much smoother for us.
I’m trying to get this point across in my memoir. Obviously, it’s not a popular viewpoint.
As it happens, I am on Disability. Not because of my Asperger’s, but because of all the abuse I’d been through since infancy, which has caused me so many psychological and emotional problems. That and the multiple concussions I sustained in my childhood have only made it worse for me.
I won’t bother you anymore about it. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.
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I think you’re asking your reader, at least here, to judge a group of folks as a whole, not as an assemblage of individuals.. namely, to consider all spectrum people claiming ‘disability’ as frauds, if they cling to the belief autism is disabling.
THAT is what makes me uncomfortable. Not your queries, themselves.
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I like to consider myself neither abled nor disabled by autism.
Though, like with you, it HAS presented challenges. Growing up was trickier.. especially since, back then, we didn’t know why we felt so different. I think with early diagnosis comes a better understanding, right from the get go.. staving off some of the issues you and I dealt with. Though, seems you’ve had far worse than I had.
But much like deafness might, or dyslexia, or a penchant for cotton candy well beyond the norm (that last thing, a joke).. autism (depending on WHERE on the spectrum one falls) will NOT make life easier.. but neither will it make living-your-best-life impossible.
At least to my way of thinking.
But for others, it may cause considerable hardships, for whatever reasons. And for these folks, their autism condition, the impairment PERCEIVED.. whether real or imagined, held falsely or fairly.. IS a detriment.
And I will not begrudge their pound of salt. Nor would you, for I can see your good heart.
I will let folks feel disabled if that’s how they lean. I will buoy them up as friends, but will allow them their beliefs.
If they lie, that’s on them. They do not take me down with them.
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ALL that said, nor do I begrudge you your nuanced opinion, and I look forward to your book. 🙂
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Unrelatedly related. I found taking acting classes, LEARNING how to respond and react to imagined (but considered true at the moment) circumstances, was beneficial to improving my empathetic skills (which, for me, were not always spot on, due to my own spectrum’s short circuitry).
I learned to fake it (a reaction, that is).
And miraculously, when I took off my metaphorical actor’s mask, when a scene was over, I was better able to feel the real.
I did not succeed as an actor, but did get better at being human. 😛
My one claim to acting fame:
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I would say you’re doing a great job as a human being. It’s the role you were made for! You could also say, you were born into the role.
I can’t believe I know an actual movie star! I’m just now watching it on my TV. The music itself gives me the creeps.
When you made the cotton candy remark I had to laugh! You are so funny! I’ll admit when I was a youngster I loved the way it melted into nothingness in my mouth.
Do you know it’s called ‘floss’ in the UK?
Speaking of nuances, my problem is I see nuances everywhere. I guess that’s where I differ greatly from others on the spectrum. I learned from the Facebook groups I joined that most on the spectrum have a hard time reading social cues, reading body language, or facial expressions. I’ve never had a problem with that. Thank goodness, because that’s what saved me. It was a survival mechanism that kept me alive many times than I can remember.
Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to watch Two Front Teeth.
Take care my friend! 😀
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Great article, Kelly!
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Thank you, Joshua! I feel I was born to teach people. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
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